WHY You Must Stop Apologizing


Author, Kali Rogers

I am so sick of apologizing.

I say sorry for someone bumping into me at the grocery store. I say sorry for miscommunication about a meeting that was no one’s fault. I say sorry for someone else’s bad mood. I say sorry for not doing anything wrong at all.

And let me tell you – it’s getting me absolutely nowhere.

It’s almost as if I feel like I have to apologize just for existing And I know I am not the only one.

You’ve seen the empowering viral videos, read convincing op-eds, and browsed the self help blogs that tell you to quit apologizing for mundane shit. And I agree. It’s an awful habit and I am desperately trying to replace “I’m sorry” with “pardon me”/”excuse me”/”thank you”/”I understand”/”MOVE IT ASSHOLE”

But “sorry” just rolls off the ole tongue, doesn’t it?

The small stuff will go away with practice. Eventually you’ll stop getting out of a man’s way on the sidewalk, and when hebumps into you, you won’t say a damn word. Instead you’ll look at him with a “walk much?” stare and go on your merry way.

(And for those of you who have reached that status – bless you. I mean doesn’t it just warm your heart when these men look sOoOoOoO perplexed that you have the AUDACITY to walk in a A STRAIGHT LINE instead of ZIG ZAGGING OUT OF THE WAY FOR HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS CHRISTOPHER RUPERT?!)

{{{yes that was a Brandy Cinderella reference for those keeping score.}}}

{{{best Cinderella movie ever.}}}

But what about the bigger stuff? Like the stuff at work, say when a boss comes down on you for absolutely no reason other than his hangover? Or when a friend is disappointed in a decision you made that indirectly hurt their feelings (though not intentionally)?

We should still apologize, then right? Even though we’ve done nothing wrong – society says that women should apologize when people feel bad.  That’s the rule!

Fuck the rules.

Let’s create new ones.

This is why you have to stop apologizing.

1) Apologizing implies guilt

2) Apologizing implies weakness

3) Apologizing implies you’re not performing

4) Apologizing contradicts boundaries

5) Apologizing highlights others’ feelings as more valid than you’re own


Read the full article at Blush


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